The Thomas Edison List

When Thomas Edison was in the process of creating the carbon filament for the first incandescent light bulb, his experiments provided negative results over 10,000 times before his eureka moment.  A reporter once asked him “Mr. Edison, how did it feel to fail so many times before getting it right?” His response: “I never failed – I just found 10,000 ways how NOT to make a light bulb.”  What follows is a list of things that I figured out by either failing to stick to the day’s plan that I had set for the day, or other momentary lapses of reason.  I’m centralizing the list simply for fun……and here’s what I’ve got thus far:

  • When someone on the marathon course offers you a shot of Fireball at mile 21, JUST….SAY…..NO.
  • The scent of bacon carries approximately 1/3 of a mile in every direction.  So if you happen to be eating a bacon and egg sandwich whilst cheering on runners during a marathon, don’t be surprised at the Pavlovian response.
  • Downhills are awesome.  Uphills are stupid.  That’s a rule.
  • Do not attempt to run a half marathon hydrating with Mai Tai’s.  It just doesn’t workout.  For anyone.
  • Chocolate GU is not a sound replacement for icing on a cake.
  • Lobster rolls are NOT a good way to carb up for a marathon.
  • Wool running shorts: never a good idea.
  • There is such a thing as nipple chaffing, and it’s not as fun as you may think.
  • Marathons are different spectator sports than Yankee games.  Therefore, refrain from heckling a dude from Kansas as he crosses mile marker 18 with phrases such as “hey Dorothy – click your heels three times and maybe you’ll actually survive this thing…” (and yes – I actually heard this shouted during a marathon…)
  • For all you Race Directors out there: never place a water station / fueling station directly in front of a local water treatment plant.  (I think some of you may know which race I saw this in…